AND Union - Sunday Pale Ale - 5.5%
Hot and bothered
by Andy
06-October-2017 at 00:00

I'm not sure I can go on like this anymore, keeping this charade going from day to day. It's crazy. It's madness. This secret is eating me up inside.

How could I have let myself get into this position? I'm a married man for God sake! I shouldn't be doing this, let alone admitting it. It's just plain wrong! A normal member of society shouldn't be carrying on like this. I'm so ashamed.

But I just can't help it. I can't. My dreams are haunted by the thing I've done. My first waking thought is of it. I go through the day counting the minutes and seconds before I can get out of work and get my hands on it. I even think of ways to get away from work so I can be with it sooner. I've thought of blowing in sick from work just so I can have it all day. All day! My head is spinning just imagining that! It's ridiculous! What would my wife say if she knew? Maybe she'd join in too...? No! NO! That's just crazy talk. It's mine. It's all mine! My little secret. My darling. My precious...

It's not like the signs weren't there. It just looks so damn pretty, in a sort of understated way. Minimal; like it doesn't even have to make an effort. Look at it. Just look! It knows - it knows how good it looks. It can tell I'm looking at it, longing. If only there was some kind of online art repository, where photos of it could be stored and admired time and time again...

Damn. Damn! Have to keep it together. Have to keep a clear head. But I can't. I just can't. It's been a week now since I had it; since I felt it and tasted it. And what a taste. So clean and fresh; like some kind of sweet nectar of the Gods. Sweet, but not too sweet. Bitter, but not overpowering. Fruity, with hints of orange and spices. And that aftertaste! Man, it lingered on my tongue for hours after; sweet, almost like syrup. I'm drooling thinking about it. I only wish I could've made it last longer - for my shame, it all seemed to be over far too quickly. I'm embarrassed thinking about it. But it only left me wanting more.

Why, oh why can't it be easier to get hold of though? I'm having to make trips out of town to reach it. People are starting to get suspicious. "Where is he going at all hours of the night?", "Why is he avoiding contact with me?", "What is that faraway look in his eyes all about?!". But it's worth it. Oh boy is it worth it.

It's like when I'm around it, nothing else matters. None of those others matter. None of them measure up. I mean, how could they? This is just... it's almost perfection. If only it was ...bigger. Then it would be perfect. It would last that bit longer and I wouldn't need so much to sate my appetite.

I have to go now. I've said too much; let slip too many secrets. I want to keep it to myself; save it all just for me. But the world has to know. This is too much pressure for one man to take.

Ahem.

And with that piece of prosaic nonsense, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Sunday Pale Ale from AND Union, the most perfect beer I've ever had the pleasure of drinking. Honestly, I'm not prone to bouts of hyperbole, but I cannot overstate how much I am in love with this stuff. It's just liquid perfection. If I could only drink one beer for the rest of my life, it would be this. I appreciate that I'm just some lunatic on the internet, with no more clout than any other idiot online, but if you do one thing this weekend, seek out this ale and savour it. I guarantee that you won't be disappointed.

(NOTE: guarantee is not a guarantee. You may not like this beer as much as I do. If that is the case, then it's because you're a weirdo and not because of any issue with the beer itself. Also, I'm not affiliated with AND Union in any way, but if they want to make me their chief beer tester, I will reluctantly accept their offer and leave my current life behind to move to Germany. Thank you.


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